The Avengers Chronicles
by Winter Waters
Summary: Just a series of one-shots of the Avengers. There is no slash, but read into it what you will. There is Friendship, team bonding, whump! mainly though. Tony Stark will feature mainly because he is a glory hog Tony: No, I'm just awesome that way! "Why isn't Tony gloating that he saved me?" Clint asked. *Disclaimer: I own nothing!
1. Insane, But Never AloneNever

Insane, But Never Alone…Never

"STARK!" Captain America, aka Steven Rogers, yelled through the comm. He watched helplessly as Iron Man try to fly out of the way from the collapsing building. He watched as he shoved Hawkeye out of the way before he disappeared under the rubble. "NO! Stark! Are you with me? Answer me dammit!" He ran to the rubble ignoring the chaos that surrounded him.

He heard dimly as the rest of S.H.I.E.L.D. agents finally arrive and surround their never ending supply of enemies to fight. The agents surrounded the enemy, who admitted to be defeated. He arrived at the last spot where he spotted Tony. He noticed Natasha right next to him looking around for Barton. They both spotted him at the same time.

"Clint!" He groaned as they flipped him over. Natasha was running her hands along his body as she checked him for severe wounds.

"Tasha…I'm fine." He murmured blinking his eyes open.

"You just had a building almost fall on you. I'll tell you if you are fine or not." Tasha replied calming down slightly.

He groaned as the sun hit his eyes directly, "Nat, I'm fine. Why isn't Stark gloating that he saved me?" He blinked again looking around for Iron Man.

After checking that Clint really was ok, Steve had turned back to the ruined building that Tony was buried under. Thor and Hulk landed next him.

"Where is the metal man?" Thor demanded. Steve pointed to the concrete blocks in front of him. Hulk grunted and got right to work. The other Avengers gathered together as they tried to avoid Hulk's throwing debris as he hunted for the red man. All Steve could think about was the argument he and Tony had gotten into before the call for them came.

"You never learn! One minute you think you change and then you still do the stupid crap over and over again! You nothing but a selfish, self-centered man who only wants the glory for helping people, you really don't care about the innocent people!" Steve ranted at Tony who just stared at him.

"I don't care! I can't believe you just said that! What? Just because I don't go all mushy eyed, G.I. Joe, Gung-Ho…" Tony started yelling back.

"You don't think Tony; you just point and shoot…" Steve interrupted.

"You have me confused with Widow, she is the one who points and shoots." Tony smarted off.

"Hey! Don't bring me into this!" Tasha shouted from across the room.

"Seriously, guys, can we just calm down and talk about this like rational, sane adults?" Bruce said, trying to play the mediator.

"Sane?! You're kidding me right, Doc?" Steve turned to Bruce and stared at him. "Tony is not sane. He puts everyone and himself at risk. He doesn't follow any orders or rules. He wants the glory and attention to himself so let him have it. He is a menace to everyone and himself. The man doesn't care about anyone but himself."

"There you go again! I am an intelligent man who can think for himself unlike you solider boy! I don't follow orders blindly like you Cub Scout. You know what, Cap? You obliviously don't know me or care to know me. So, don't worry about it anymore. I'll take me and my big head, glory seeking self elsewhere. You and the rest of the guys can have Stark Towers because obviously I'm not invited in my own home! I'm much better alone." Tony said before turning and walking away ignoring the calls from his team.

"Tony!" Bruce called as he watched his friend's retreating back. He sighed as he was ignored. They heard the elevator doors open and close, taking their friend with it. He turned and stared at Steve who was still breathing hard.

"What?" Steve asked as he found all eyes on him.

"There is something to be said about leadership, brother," Thor stated quietly, "it is said to read between the lines and look for what is underneath a man's skin."

Steve stared at the demi-god as the others nodded in agreement. "Tony could have gotten himself killed, in rushing into danger like that! He left us to abandon the plan and defend his back."

"You never wonder why he does that sometimes? Like why he just accepted me with the Hulk and taught me how to embrace my…lack of better word…condition? Like how he always pairs Tasha and Clint together to give them peace of mind about each other? Or how he helps to keep Thor in contact with Jane? Or how about when he helps you in catching up on Seventy years of technology and history?" Bruce asked Steve in a quiet voice.

"He always acts first and puts himself in danger first, to take the brunt of the impact." Clint finished.

Steve sighed and sat down, "I know that. I just…he makes me so mad sometimes!" He exclaimed.

"Captain, he wouldn't be Stark if he didn't torture us with his "brilliance"." Natasha smirked.

"You don't have a hot head like Tony, Cap, but sometimes when you're angry you lose your filter between your brain and mouth." Bruce stated with a smile.

Steve laughed, "That only happens when Tony speaks." He sighed, "I'll go find him and apologize…"

Jarvis chose that moment to interrupt. "Avengers, there is a call coming in from Director Fury."

"Avengers, we have a situation." Fury's voice said coming over the comm. "I'll give you detailed report once you're in transport, for now, suit up."

-S.H.E.I.L.D.'s Medical Hall-

Pepper Potts rushed down the hall after landing on the ship/plane. _He is going to be fine. He was in his suit and his built his suit to withstand almost everything._ She kept repeating over and over in her head ever since she got the call from Steven.

"Steve!" She shouted as she spotted him. He still had dirt and dried blood on him. The whole team was covered in shoot, everyone except Bruce who had Hulked down and gotten a new change of clothes. "How is he?"

Steve looked at Bruce to answer, "He's finishing up surgery now."

Pepper looked at Bruce and the rest of the team. "What happened?"

"We were trying to evacuate a building that was collapsing." Clint started, staring off as he remembered. "We had gotten everyone on the first floor. I had stayed until I made sure that all the civilians were out. Tony had flown back in to double-check the floors. We were making our way out…"

"_I think that's everyone." Iron Man said landing next to Hawkeye. _

"_Nice to see you after you temper tantrum." Clint replied cheekily as they made their way to the door to rejoin the fight._

"_My temper tantrum is it? I bet you that all of you would go insane if I wasn't around to amuse you all." Tony snarked back._

"_You do realize all of us are already insane?" Clint replied._

_Tony opened his mouth to reply when they heard a groan as the roof started falling. They both looked up and at each other. Clint was running and ducking as debris fell down on them. Tony flew beside him just about to pick him up and fly them both out of there when debris fell in front of Clint. He didn't have time slow down as he ran right into it._

"_Up you get Bird Brain, time to see you fly." With that Tony threw Barton out of the door way. He heard Steve yell his name as darkness and heavy weight surrounded him._

"He saved my life." Barton said looking away from Pepper with a guilty face.

"Not your fault." Pepper and the rest of the team replied. He nodded and smiled when he felt Tasha's hand slip into his. The doctor chose that moment to walk into the room.

"How is he Doctor?" Pepper asked clutching Steve's hand.

"He is fine. Doing well in fact, his suit saved his life. He does have a couple of broken ribs that we had to go in and reset. He does have a concussion so we will keep him overnight for observation." Doctor Reyonlds replied with a smile at all the sighs of relief.

"Can we go see him?" Pepper asked.

"Of course, just if he is sleeping let him sleep, ok?" The doc stated as he led the Avengers to Tony's room.

They all filed into the room and arranged themselves to wait until their sleeping teammate to awake. And awake he did.

Pepper was sitting in a chair, her head resting on the bed. Thor was snoring loudly in one of the chairs that a nurse brought in. Tasha and Clint were curled up on the cot and Bruce was downstairs grabbing some coffee for him and Steve.

Steve was in another chair by Tony's bed, eyes fitting to close to go to sleep. "You look like hell, Captain."

Steve laughed quietly as to avoid waking everyone else up. "I still look better than you."

"Not possible. You were not voted People's 100 hottest men on the planet. Want to know what number I was? Number One. There is no one hotter on this planet than me. It's a proven fact."

There was a silence that was neither awkward nor comfortable, just tense. Steve sighed, "I'm sorry. About what I said Tony. I know…"

"Don't worry about it old man, Pepper tells me to always respect my elders…"

"Tony, I'm being serious here." Steven sighed.

"Look, Cap. I get it. You're sorry and I'm sorry. We both have a role on this team. I'm the guy who makes everyone detensified and you're the one who calls me out on my crap and reels me in when I get too insane. So, could we not do the mushy stuff? I kinda only save that for Pepper."

Steve sighed, "You truly are insane, I do believe that one day you will be the death of me."

"Not true, you both will die by my hand if you don't shut up. I'm trying to sleep." Natasha grumbled from her spot beside Clint.


	2. Two LedgersOne Mission

Two Ledgers…One Mission

Natasha Romanoff thought that Clint was the only one who would understand about the ledger. It made sense, since he was the one who helped her to change. To help her to escape the life she was living.

It was because of him that she joined S.H.E.I.L.D. and became his partner. She sighed to herself as she nursed her Earl Grey tea. They were split up more than they worked together but that was ok. Clint knew how to take care of himself. That didn't stop her from worrying though. It was during the years of their partnership that Natasha realized she fell in love with Clint.

She fought it at first. She, who had killed countless of people, did not deserve to be loved. She, who had more red in her ledger than the devil himself, could not afford to be that emotionally attach. But in true Clint Barton style he blew right past her walls into her heart.

So it was a surprise when one cold night, after the nightmares wouldn't leave her alone, she slipped out of bed to get some tea. It was much like this night, in fact. She told Clint to go back to sleep, that she just needed to think for awhile. Clint understood and gave her that space.

As she made her way down from their new apartment in Stark Tower she was surprised to hear soft classical music coming from Tony's private lab. She silently made her way to the door to see what Stark was up too this late at night. She was surprised to see the man sitting quietly with his eyes closed as he seems to just absorb the music. She wasn't surprised however when the doors automatically slide open and admitted her to his private sanctuary.

"JARVIS doesn't let anyone surprise me anymore." He said in lieu of greeting.

"Isn't that why you made him?" Tasha asked walking forward to the chair across from Stark.

"Partly." He answered. They were content to listen to the music in silence. Natasha stared at Tony in wonderment. She never thought that he would ever be this still, this silent unless he was either dead or in a coma.

As the haunting melody of the music came to come to a close Tony sighed and opened his eyes and finally looked at Natasha. "So what brings you here at this time of the night?"

Natasha, who would normally only be open with Clint, surprised herself in answering truthfully to Tony. "I couldn't sleep. Bad dreams, I suppose."

Tony nodded, but didn't say anything else, just waited for her to continue.

"I'm sure you've already hacked in and gotten my file." She started off, staring at a spot behind Tony's head. "So, I'm sure you've read it entirely."

Tony neither disagreed nor agreed; he just stayed silent. Actually listening to his new teammate open up to him.

"Sometimes, all those things…all those things in my ledger…they come back and make me remember. It's not like I would ever forget anyway, they just always come back to remind me." She said softly.

"I understand." Tony announced just as softly. He sighed as he remembered his own experiences and things he never knew he was a part of. "You know they used to call me the Merchant of Death?" He asked. He didn't wait for answer, but continued on with the story. "I always thought it was because I sold weapons to the military or S.H.E.I.L.D. and they used them to cause death. Then I was kidnapped and I saw…I saw my creations…my technology being used by the very people they were meant to destroy. And they were using them on innocent people.

"So, I remember, even if I wasn't directly at hand for those innocents dying, they still died by my creations, by my thoughts. So, in a way, my ledger is just as full of yours. Both of ours have blood seeping through the seams and it never seems to stop." He finished quietly as he remembered the scientist who saved his life.

Tasha sighed in agreement as she leaned forward on her knees. "It never seems like what we do will ever be enough to wipe out the ledgers does it?"

Tony was quiet for moment, thinking with both his mind and arc-reactor heart, and he came up with the most unsatisfying answer. It was unsatisfying because it was the right answer. "No. It will never be enough to clear out either of our ledgers. But you know what? The good we will do with the Avengers and the good we will do just to try to clear them out will help keep the memories away for longer periods of time. They will always be there, though, pushing us to be better people.

"Because admit it, out of the entire team, me and you, we have the most to make up for. And we will. Together."

Natasha stared at the man in front of her and smiled. She was glad she found someone who understood.

Ever since that night, when the memories came back. Natasha would make coffee for Tony and tea for herself and head down to his lab. Sometimes they would talk, sometimes they would just remember, and sometimes…sometimes they would close their eyes and ask for forgiveness.


	3. Seeing is Believing

A/N: Hey Everyone! Just a quick note! I wanted to say thanks to all the follows and reviews! I'm glad you guys are enjoying this, and I admit, it makes me giddy to write the Avengers! This one is just pure humor, so I hope you enjoy. Let me know!

* * *

Seeing is Believing

"I'm not sure I even want to know." Bruce said staring at his two teammates who had the nerve to look somewhat sheepish. "No, you know what? I don't want to know." He finished saying as they all heard Thor loudly ranting throughout Stark Towers.

Tony and Clint looked at each and shrugged. "I'm not sure what you're talking about, Doc." Clint said turning back to Bruce with an innocent look.

"You're not sure what I'm talking about?" Bruce repeated slowly.

"I am positive that is what he said. Now,…" Tony started to reply but Bruce interrupted him.

"No, Tony, just no. What I am talking about, is Thor yelling like he just lost his mind."

"Well, technically, the jury is still out on that. I mean we really don't know the psychological damage coming from Asgard to Midgard can do to a man. I mean, the man still sounds like he belongs in a Shakespeare play and he's been here on and off for about five years now." Tony reasoned out.

"That's a good idea!" Clint exclaimed excitedly turning to Tony. "We could…"

"No!" Bruce all but shouted. "I have no idea what you're thinking about Barton, and I'm sure I don't want to know, but please do not get Tony started on a new idea."

"Now wait, Doc," Tony smiled, "I want to hear what Hawk has to say."

Clint and Bruce was about to talk when they realized it was deadly quiet, way too quiet for being the Avengers Headquarters. "Where's Thor?!" They all asked at the same time. They all ran out of Bruce's lab, the one that Tony set aside just for him, and into the living room. It was here that they found Thor.

Clint Barton and Tony Stark learned something very important in that moment of time. They learned that the normally loud-speaking demi-god, when quiet, was a very scary demi-god.

Bruce cleared his throat nervously as he stared in wonderment at the Norse God, "Um…Thor…"

Thor looked at the doctor questioning before turning to glare at the two men he knew was responsible for this…horrific crime. "I will have answers now from you both, bird man and metal man. What have I done to deserve this…injustice in our friendship?" Thor demanded.

"Thor, Point Break, this is a customary tradition in Midgard." Tony stated his face showing nothing but a warm smile of friendship. Innocence seeping out of him and Clint as Bruce snorted and Thor just stared.

"I do not know this tradition…" Thor stated, suspicion still clouding his eyes.

Clint picked up where Tony left off, "Yes it is customary. All new arrivals to Midgard have to make their debut."

"Did he not already do that in New Mexico?" Bruce interjected innocently. Tony and Clint both glared at him.

"I have great respect for Midgard and Midgardiens, but this…I cannot be seen outside these walls. Not like this. It is not fitting for one such as me." Thor stated.

"Doesn't Asgard have something similar for new arrivals in their realm?" Tony questioned.

"No. We throw them a grand feast and welcome them." Thor answered.

"Oh. Well, this will make you more likable towards the midgardiens." Clint offered.

"I do not need…" Thor started angrily.

"No, you don't need, but the Avengers do need." Tony interjected calmly stopping him.

Thor looked at Bruce for help in understanding this new strange custom that has been sprung on him. Bruce looked back and sighed. There wasn't anything that he could do, so he just sighed again and nodded. He hoped the Other Guy would be able to help him if Thor ever found out the truth.

"Very well. I will continue with this…custom of yours…because you are my brothers. I, however, must make note that this custom is ridiculous." Thor huffed out as he turns back to the mirror on the wall and stared at his hair again.

Clint and Tony struggled to stifle their laughs as they both replied, "Of course."

Bruce, Tony, and Clint just stared as the Norse God of Lightening lifted up another pink strand of hair.

"Well, Breast Cancer Awareness is next month…so, it is for a good cause." Tony replied as Bruce looked at him in slight disapproval.

Bruce and Clint both had to fight their grins as Thor turned back to them.

* * *

A/N: The question is...how the hell did they get Thor to dye his hair?! As always, love it, hate it, but review it! ~Winter~


	4. Fury's Fife

A/N: Hey guys! I was just letting you know, that I 'm taking down **See What Had Happened Was...** and I decided to make that one it's own three-shot story. My friend was the one who suggested the idea to me because **SWHHW** was technically a three-shot and **The Avengers Chronicles **was suppose to be one-shots only. So, if you were reading **SWHHW... **never fear! I will post the rest of that story up! So, enjoy **Fury's Fife**!

Winter

* * *

Fury's Fife

The Avengers were enjoying a cup of coffee, tea, or juice. No one, for once, was arguing or fighting. There was a companionable silence that they were all enjoying. Their last mission had left them quit beaten up and sore.

Pepper, Jane, and Darcy were sitting by their men, heads resting on their shoulders. Natasha was staring off, fingers lightly tapping on the table. Clint was mindlessly rubbing his bow arm and fingers working out the kinks. Thor was munching on a pop tart and talking quietly with Steve. Maria was still on the helicarrier doing paperwork and helping Coulson sort out the last debacle. Bruce was working on a crossword puzzle in the newspaper.

Tony was playing a game on his phone. He could be seen making very amusing faces as he played. They were all there sitting in silence with the occasional mummer here and a tapping there. It was soothing both for the team and the people who worried about them. That is why it came as a surprise when Tony's ringtone went off.

Natasha jumped up and whipped out her gun, aiming it at the phone on reflex. Clint pulled out a blade in lieu of his bow which was in his room. Thor and Steve jumped and tensed up looking around the room trying to pin point the sound. Bruce grimaced as he jerked his pen across the page making a line. Pepper just sighed and rolled her eyes to Tony while Darcy looked at the phone in amusement. Jane was trying to sooth both Thor and Steve back into their seats. And, Tony, well, he just answered his phone.

"This is the genius, billionaire, playboy, philanthropist." A pause. "I understand that, but the answer is no."

Everyone was staring, wondering who he was talking to. They looked at Pepper, who just shrugged and waited for Tony to get off the phone.

"I don't work for you so I will not be able to relay that message."

That raised a few eyebrows around the table. Natasha looked at everyone and mouthed 'Fury'. They nodded as they waited for Tony to let them know what was going on.

"I'm on vacation. I have no idea how to contact them." Another pause. "Would I ever lie to you?" Both Clint and Natasha snorted at that comment.

Tony rolled his eyes as he flapped at them to be quiet. "I will look into it sir." He disengaged the phone call and went back to his game. He finally looked up and found everyone's eyes on him. "What?"

"Who were you talking to?" Steve asked first.

"Fury." Tony replied in a 'duh' tone.

"And what did old Blackbeard want?" Clint asked.

Tony snorted, "Old Blackbeard? I like it. He wanted us to come in and work on more paperwork and generally be at his beck and call for simple missions that S.H.E.I.L.D. agents can do in their sleep."

Natasha and Clint shrugged and went back to what they were doing. Steve was muttering to Thor about Tony's 'disregard and lack of respect' towards Fury. Jane and Pepper were in a conversation, most likely talking about Tony. Bruce was trying to finish his crossword puzzle, trying to ignore the line going through it. He looked up to find his girlfriend smiling at Tony.

"Why are smiling at Tony?" He asked. Tony looked up at his name, along with everyone else who was now staring at Darcy.

Darcy's smile got even bigger, "I absolutely love that ringtone for Fury! You must send it to me!"

Tony grinned, "Finally, someone who gets it." Tony's fingers were typing so fast and in the next moment Darcy's phone went off.

**~Two Days Later~**

"_Asshole Calling. Asshole Calling. There is an asshole on the other line. Please pick up the phone and talk to the big Asshole."_

"Fury, I'm a little busy trying to stay alive from a Doomsday bot. Call you later." Tony told JARVIS to hang up the phone as he fired another repulse.

* * *

So, tell me how did you like it?! Any who, the next story is going to be an extra special surprise, simply because it won't be from Tony's POV! Guess who's it will be! Winter...oh and please review...please :)


	5. Rebuilding A Man

**Rebuilding A Man…**

If anyone who knew Darcy Lewis would be surprised to see her sitting in the hallway unmoving. Her head was in her hands and her knees brought close to her chest. They would have even been more surprised to learn that this was the case for the previous two days as well. She even slept in the hallway.

Why? Do you ask was the full of life Darcy sitting like this in despair? It was simple, Bruce Banner, her boyfriend of now 6 months has shut himself in his lab. On the first day, Darcy had stamped her foot and banged on the door yelling at Bruce to let her in. To talk to her, but he just ignored her. She knew that he thought he was doing what was right for her, but he wouldn't listen to her when she told him it was an accident.

What made it even worse was that the other Avengers were gone on a mission that the Hulk was not required for. That meant that Darcy's ally in bringing Bruce back into the real world, Tony Stark, was not available to help her.

"Bruce! Come out and talk to me!" Darcy yelled again looking up at the ceiling. She waited to see if he would come out, but again he didn't. She stifled her moan as her heart ached. She fought back the tear that threatened to escape. "Jarvis, what is he doing?" She questioned the A.I. again for the umpteenth time.

"_Mr. Banner is currently at the computer staring at the screen."_ The A.I. dutifully replied.

Darcy sighed again. She had a fair idea on what he was staring at and she couldn't help the spike of jealousy that shot through her. It was that jealousy's fault that started the mess to begin with. Darcy's head thumped against the wall as her mind traveled back to two nights ago.

~Two Nights Ago~

Bruce mumbled and tossed in his sleep waking up Darcy from her pleasant dream about Bruce and a beach somewhere. Shaking her head to clear out the remainders of sleep heard Bruce groaned as if he was in pain.

"Bruce…" She said softly touching his face.

He turned his head again moaned again.

"Bruce, you're having a bad dream, wake up for me." Darcy tried again, her hand running smoothly over his hair and face.

Bruce turned to the sound of her voice and moved his body closer.

"That's it. It's ok, I'm here Bruce." Darcy whispered as she waited for him to awake from whatever had his mind trapped. It was then that Darcy heard it, the sound that tore her heart to pieces.

"Betty…" Bruce mumbled in his sleep curling further into Darcy's embrace. "Betty…"

Darcy leapt out of bed, struggling to keep her cry contained. Bruce, who was already waking up anyways, heard it still and sat up in bed. "Darcy…" He asked making to get up when she stepped away from the bed.

"Darcy, what happened?!" Bruce asked getting really nervous. Had he began to 'Hulk out' as she and Tony had gotten to saying. Had he hurt her?" She just shook her head and tears begin to fall.

"Shit! Darcy, did I hurt you? Let me see!" Bruce cried out as he thought he hurt another woman he loved. He moved to see where he had hurt but she moved away from him again.

"Don't." Darcy whispered.

Bruce froze as he look into her eyes, "What happened? Please you have to tell me." He cried.

"Do you love me?" Darcy asked instead.

Bruce stilled at her question, now looking at the floor. "W-What?"

"Do you love me?" She asked again, her voice gaining strength.

"I-I.." Bruce struggled to say something, anything. The truth was, he did love her. He is amazed daily that this beautiful woman with so much life would see anything in him, especially with the Other Guy. She was only one of three people who the Hulk would do anything to save, Betty, Tony, and her. He didn't know how to tell her that he did though. Mostly because half of him thought this relationship was a bad idea.

Like now for instance, he is terrified that he had hurt her. And he could see that somehow she was hurt, but he couldn't see the injury from here.

"Let me see where you are hurt. Please, let me see to that first and we will talk!" Bruce begged, anxious to make sure she was alright.

"I'm fine, Bruce. Answer the question." Darcy demanded her voice flat. "Do you love me? I need to know."

Bruce remained silent, unsure what to do.

Darcy sniffled once more trying to gain control of the leaky faucets that were her eyes. "That answer my question then." She started to walk off, but her anger got the best of her. "No, you know what? I want to know. What has the past 6 months been? If you don't love me, then what the hell have we been doing?"

Bruce stared at her as she unleashed her hurt and anger that has been building up since he uttered Betty's name. "Darcy, tell me what I did!" He begged.

"Have I been some warm body to keep you through the night? Or have you been hoping that I would just make her go way?" She yelled.

Bruce stared at her confused, "Her? What her?"

"Betty!" She shouted, tears now falling freely from her eyes.

"B…Betty? What about Betty?" He questioned quietly.

"What about her? Do you still love her? Do you even love me at all?" Darcy yelled again.

"What does she even have to do with this?" Bruce asked, getting defensive.

Darcy laughed, but there was none of her usual warmth in it, "Just now, when you were dreaming, I thought you were having a nightmare, but now I'm not so sure. You called out for her, Bruce. You called for Betty. And I can't be Betty." She whispered as she trailed off. "I can't be her." She said once more as turned and walked out of the door.

Bruce's heart beat accelerated, "DARCY!" He roared as the Hulk pushed through.

Darcy, scared that Bruce was hurt ran back into the room, only to be flung into the wall as the Hulk thrashed around looking for the brunette woman who accepted him.

The Hulk, seeing Darcy fly into the wall roared again as he let Bruce take over their shared body again. Once human, Bruce ran to Darcy and made sure she was ok. As soon as the words left her mouth that she was ok, he fled to the lab and he hasn't came out since.

~Present Day~

Darcy lifted her head as she heard soft footsteps coming down the hall. She met Tony Stark's questioning eyes. "We had an argument, I walked out of the room to get some air, he 'Hulked', I ran back into the room to make sure he was ok, ended getting thrown into the wall for my troubles. He's been in there for two days and won't talk to me."

Tony was quiet for a moment, "What was the fight about?"

"He called me Betty in his sleep." Darcy whispered. Tony grimaced in sympathy.

"I'll get him to come out." Tony promised as he went in the lap to knock sense into his best friend.

Darcy waited as Tony worked his magic on his friend. She waited for what felt like six hours and were only two, before the door opened and Bruce shuffled out. Tony closed the door behind him with a firm click leaving the couple in tense silence.

Darcy stood up, proud of herself for not showing any pain that the movement caused, grabbed Bruce's hand and led him to their room. As soon as the door closed, Darcy turned around and flung herself on Bruce.

"I'm sorry! I'm so sorry!" She cried into his shoulders.

Bruce held her, inhaling her scent and reassuring himself that she was ok. The words finally registered in his sleep deprived brain. "What are you sorry for? I'm the one who is sorry! I hurt you!"

"I didn't mean to push you about Betty. I know you still care for her, but…I just let my jealousy get the better of me." Darcy whispered, to ashamed to meet his eyes.

Bruce placed a finger under her chin, lifting her face to meet his eyes. "I do still care for Betty, and I probably always will." He admitted, he held her face as she tried to look away. "Last night," he continued, "I dreamt of that night in Harlem."

"You mean the time you broke Harlem?" Darcy asked before she could stop herself.

Bruce laughed, "Yea that time. I wasn't calling you Betty. The old Bruce Banner loved Betty, which is why I still have nightmares from time to time. But the new Bruce Banner, the one that you are helping to rebuild, that Bruce Banner, is in love with you. I love you, Darcy Lewis."

Darcy blushed as she saw the intense look in his eyes. "I love you too Bruce Banner." She whispered.

Bruce smiled and gathered her into another hug, content to hold her for the rest of his life. He laughed out right when she whispered in his ear, "And I love you too, Hulk."

The green giant inside the man purred in gentle pleasure.

* * *

So, ok, I couldn't help but to throw Tony into the mix, (Like I said glory hog) but it wasn't a big part! Let me know how I did! I felt like this would be one of the many things that Bruce and Darcy would have to work out during the course of their relationship. I hope you like it and please review! Winter


	6. It's Not Even My Birthday

"It's Not Even My Birthday"

Tony was slammed into the ground again. He tried to shake his head clear only to be slam into the ground again. "Iron…come…can…" He heard through his comm.

"I can't hear you, Capsicle, a little busy getting pummeled into a concrete grave." Tony snapped back as he tried to twist free or to get into a position to fire a repulse. "Stupid freaking octopus let me go!" Tony yelled again. He had Jarvis redirect more power to his thrusters as he tried to fly away.

He was grabbed by another tentacle and again slammed into the ground. He groaned as he felt his suit start to cave in. "Fuck. Help anyone?" He asked through the comm.

"Stark…hang on…Hawk's…another minute." Widow said through the static.

"I don't know if there is another minute. Why the hell is he focusing on me?" Tony demanded as he was yet again slammed into the ground.

"_Sir, the suit is sustaining more damaged in one area only. It seems that the creature is deliberately targeting that area."_ Jarvis supplied as he ran through the calculations.

"So, I see Jarvis. How the hell did they find the weak spot?" Tony asked as he blasted his thrusters again only to be caught and slammed onto his back once more.

"_Sir, I report no interference into the Stark Network."_ Jarvis answered.

"Guys! I don't think the suit or me can take another hit. He's targeting my…" Tony was trying to say only to yell in pain as he was slammed one final time to the ground.

Tony felt pain throughout his back as the suit caved in even more. Tony feared that something pierced his back. He tried to calm his racing heart.

"Tony…" Steve called through his comm.

"Stark!" Hawkeye and Widow yelled at the same time as they waited for their friend to get up yet again.

The Hulk seeing his small red friend unmoving roared and launched himself at the mechanical creature that resembled an octopus. He roared again as he repeatedly smashed the top of the creature's head.

As the Hulk took care of the creature now without fear of hurting Tony as the Octopus used him as a defensive shield the others ran to the still Iron Man.

"Tony!" Steve yelled as the crouched down into the small crater next to the prone man. He slid his hand under the helmet searching for the manual release so they could get to their teammates face.

With a final roar the other three looked up to see Hulk rip open the top of the Octopus' dome and Thor to fry it with his lightening. They heard a human yell as the metal creature began to smoke and tumble to the ground. It's tentacles lay flat out beside the creature.

"Widow, go help Hulk and Thor." Steve commanded turning his attention back to Tony.

Clint climbed onto Iron Man's other side and lightly tapped the other man's face. "Come on, Tin Can, need you to wake up."

Tony groaned as the light tapping wouldn't stop. "Call me Tin Can one more time Cupid."

Clint smiled in relief as Tony made a snappy comeback. "Well, what you going to do about it Tin Can?"

"Well, after I get my beauty rest, Merida, I'm going to do something…just can't think of it at the moment." Tony groaned as he tried to think more clearly.

"Where are you hurt Tony?" Steve asked.

"You mean besides everywhere?" Tony responded.

"Where do you hurt more?" Clint asked.

Tony sighed, "My lower back. The stupid creature was targeting it to begin with."

"Why?" Clint asked.

"Somehow, 8 legged freak over there figured out a weak spot in the armor." Tony said as he grabbed Steve and Clint's hand and tried to haul himself up.

"No, Tony, stay still. If it is a serious back injury, moving can make it worse." Steve said, holding down on Tony's shoulders.

"But I want to get up. I hate laying down, besides, I feel better than new." Tony replied as he tried to get up once more. "Ow!" He grunted and stared at Clint. "That hurt Eagle Eye." He said rubbing his bruised chin.

"I'm sorry wannabe cyborg; I thought you were better than new." Clint asked, with a serious frown. "If I have offended you in some way," He continued with a deep fake southern voice, "then let me do it again."

Steve laughed as Tony grimaced. "No love for the injured man. Really, Kimberly, it's just not polite."

"Kimberly? You just called me Kimberly? Like the Pink Power Ranger, Kimberly?" Clint asked in a tone of offense.

"Well, if the shoe fits…" Tony laughed.

"I think I like Katniss better." Clint muttered as he turned to watch Nat and Bruce back towards them. Thor was lifting the prisoner into the air and back to the helicarrier.

"Nah, Katniss is too cool for you." Tony smiled at the evil glare Clint shot at him. "Hey Doc," Tony whined to Bruce, "they won't let me get up."

Bruce grinned down at his friend, "And it's killing you to no end huh? Much like getting stab with pointy things?" He said as he climbed into the dented concrete next to Steve.

"I've been cutting back with stabbing you with pointy things. You always retaliate by blowing things up in my lab. Even Dum-E and Butterfingers stay away from you." Tony complained.

"That was one time!" Bruce exclaimed as he searched for the manual release for the top plates of the Iron Man suit. "And besides, Dum-E and Butterfingers have forgiven me."

"That one time was enough…I never thought we would get rid of those blue stains off the ceiling." Tony smirked and breathed in more air as the top half of the suit came off.

"Tony, I'm going to feel under you to see if the suit penetrated into your skin." Bruce exclaimed running his hand under Tony's suit.

"You know, if it penetrated a little lower, one could actually say Tony screwed himself." Clint laughed to Natasha.

"Please, do not ever say that again while Bruce is running his hand under my back." Tony groaned. "Not that you aren't a good looking man Brucie, but I much prefer long red hair and legs for days."

"No, it's ok. You're not my type either Tony." Bruce laughed. His fingers made contact with where the suit was caved in towards Stark's back. "Well, it doesn't feel like the suit penetrated your back. I'll say it's safe to lift you onto a back brace until we get you examined."

"Sweet. Free ride while everyone else works? I can live with that." Tony grinned at his friends.

"When don't you live with that Tony?" Natasha stared at him questionly.

"When I'm getting pounded into a concrete grave. Speaking of which, who was the guy in the suit?" Tony fired back.

"Don't worry about it until you get checked out." Natasha answered signaling for the helicarrier to lower medical transport.

"Tell me." Tony replied, determined, he wanted to know who wanted him buried six feet and under.

"Tony, trust me." Natasha sighed staring at her friend. She knew that the news would probably upset him, even though he wouldn't let anyone see.

Tony was quiet as he was transferred over to a back brace and lifted up into the carrier. He was quiet the doctors x-rayed his back to make sure there was no internal damage. He waited till he was cleared and sent out to be debriefed. He waited as Pepper ran to him and looked him over, crying and yelling at him at the same time. He was quiet until everyone was on the bridge and at the table.

"I want to know who the guy is, Miss Romanoff, if you will." Tony said quietly as he tried to ignore the warning in his gut.

By that time, the rest of the team has been filled in on who their enemy was. They didn't know what to expect from Tony when he found out.

"For fuck's sake! Just tell me!" Tony growled.

Natasha, never one to pull any blows sighed, "It was Obadiah Stane, Tony."

Tony turned and stared at her in disbelief. "He…he is suppose to be dead." He muttered before getting to his feet. He ignored the calls of everyone as he made his way to the detainment cell. He walked in and came face to face with his first enemy. His pseudo-father and mentor stared back at him with a smile.

"Obi, so nice of you to drop in and throw a party for me today and it's not even my birthday." Tony replied, his face showing nothing.

"Well, my boy, I was just making sure you were living up to your new legacy." Obadiah said in that smug voice of his.

Tony nodded as he started to walk around the cell. "I'm glad, that you are here to check up on me. Though, I should be checking up on you. Last time I saw you, you were getting turned into fried chicken by a huge arc reactor."

Obadiah laughed, "That's true. Somehow, though, I survived."

"So, I see. Just…how did you survive that Obi?" Tony questioned again. He was aware of the other Avengers, Fury, and Pepper standing in the hall.

"Pure absolute luck. The suit protected me. And well, S.H.E.I.L.D. employees don't get paid enough to remain loyal forever and they do like to get paid when all they have to do is tell a wee little white lie."

"Obi, your white lies always gets someone almost dead." Tony replied back.

"True, so maybe next time, I'll tell you a big lie, and then you might end up dead." Obi said without any feeling.

"I don't think there will be a next time, I doubt Fury will let you out of his site. I know I won't until you are in a cell that even rats wouldn't dare enter for fear of disease." Tony snapped back.

He turned to walk out, when Obi stopped him.

"Hey, Tony, how long before you get one of your new friends killed? How long before you bring Pepper down to where she can't recover? It's just a matter of time Tony, you'll screw up again, and I can't wait to see it. We'll see how your Legacy stands then." Obi said to his back.

Before Tony could reply, Pepper stepped into the light. "They only way I won't recover, Obi, is if Mr. Stark lowers himself to your level."

"And, as for the rest of us, I doubt Tony would get us killed, it will be more like him to try and save us so he would have more time to play in his lab." Clint replied as well. He had a blade in his hand cleaning out from under his nails.

"That's right, and even if Tony did get us killed, it would just mean we get peace and quiet for once. But then that would make us happy so he would try to make sure that wouldn't happen." Natasha laughed.

"Yea, but I would have my Tower back." Tony replied, said looking once more at the man he knew more as a than his own biological father.

He turned with his arm around Pepper and joined the new family that he was graced with.

"Pfft, you love us living with you Tin Man." Clint snorted.

"I love living you with 3.14 percent of never, not true, Pinkie." Tony laughed back.

"Oh, and we still need to talk about that twelve percent remark." Pepper could be heard saying as the door forever closed on Obadiah Stane's face and everyone was more than ok with that.


	7. Thor's Masquerade

A/N: Hey everyone! I'm so happy that you are liking the Chronicles! It totally makes me so happy that you guys enjoy my work. As for the Chronicle, I have decided to make this into a total of 20 one-shots. I have ideas for pretty much all of them, but if there is a particular idea that you would like to see, please let me know in a review or private message. I will do my best to uphold your idea and do you proud! In other news, this is beta'd by the lovely **Kaishakai**! She is my beta and I love her for being patient with me! Most of the humor that is in my stories is our conversations with each other going back and forth...those are the good days...well, Enjoy **Thor's Masquerade**! I hope I did you Thor fans proud!

* * *

Thor's Masquerade

"Brother Tony, I must ask you a question." Thor spoke into the quiet living room. Tony, who had been working on his tablet, looked up in surprise as the demi-god broke the silence. The two friends had been sitting and enjoying the silence after their latest battle with Obi.

"What's up, Point Break?" Tony asked setting his tablet down.

Thor paused for a moment as he gathered his thoughts to pose his questions. "I was watching the feed from the last battle and I heard the comment you made to Master Archer."

"Well, I made a lot of comments to Francis, you gotta be more specific." Tony responded, his interest peaked.

"You called…" Thor started.

"Call him Clint, something besides Master Archer. It makes his ego swell." Tony interrupted. Thor laughed in agreement, used to his friend's abrupt randomness.

"Very well, you called Clint by a woman's name, Kimberly and he exclaimed that you called him a Pink Power Ranger. What is a Power Ranger?"

Tony stared at Thor in pure wonderment. Already his mind was alit with ideas and pranks. He could barely contain his gleeful laughter as he felt it bubble up inside of him. Thor waited patiently with all due course of seriousness. When Tony could answer him without laughing to give the game away, he smiled and answered.

"Well, Thor, let's see. The Power Rangers have been around since the early 90's. They are team of teenagers that have certain skills and abilities."

"Like us." Thor stated.

"Sorta, we are much less cheesy. There have been many different teams that have taken up the Power Rangers cause, but the best and most influential team is the very first one. They made recordings of their battles so future generations could watch and make notes." Tony said without cracking a smile.

"I understand this; do we not do the same thing?" Thor questioned.

"Yea, with reports and I'm pretty sure S.H.E.I.L.D. and Jarvis records all of our missions." Tony replied.

Thor waited for a moment before asking his next question. "Do you have access to their battle feeds? I would greatly enjoy watching past Midgardian Warriors."

"Sure, big guy, give me a second. I'll send you the feed to your private room." Thor nodded his agreement and didn't ask why Tony just didn't put it on the living room screen. He was used to the Iron Man's quirks. "Jarvis, send our resident Thunder God the entire series of the first Power Rangers."

"_Of course Sir, would you like me to keep you posted on his progress?"_ Jarvis questioned.

"Smart idea, Jarvis. I'm so glad I made you." Tony smiled at the ceiling.

"_Indeed, so am I, Sir."_ Jarvis responded.

~A Few Days Later~

"Hey, Robocop, what's been up with Thor? He's been holed up in his room and every time we do see him, he is always mumbling about how he never knew that Midgard had these different foes." Clint asked, swinging down from the air vents onto the couch next to Tony.

"Can't you use regular entry ways like a normal person, Legolas?" Tony asked, not even looking up from his tablet that was actually showing him footage of Thor. Tony smoothly transferred on to another screen so as not to alert Eagle Eye to anything.

"If I was normal, I wouldn't be part of the Avengers. So, give. What's up with Thor?" Clint shrugged.

"Last time we talked, he was mumbling something or another about a project of his own." Tony replied, now on a screen with the stock market scores. One thing he knew that Clint tried to ignore. "He said we needed to have more team bonding time. He's been hanging with Cap too much."

Clint laughed in agreement, "I just hope this team project goes better than his last one of him trying to cook us an Asgardian feast. I have gone through tortures that have given me less nightmares."

Tony shuddered in agreement, "I thought everyone agreed to never speak of that horrible, forsaken night." Just then Thor walked into the living room and spotted Tony and Clint.

"Friends, I have been inspired." He said staring intently at both of them.

Clint muttered under his breath to Tony, "This can't be good." Tony nodded with him in agreement. He struggled to contain his laughter since he already pretty much knew what Thor's idea was. "What actually have you been inspired about, Thor?" Clint asked.

"I have heard of this tradition of Midgard, you practice it on what we call All Hallows Eve. I believe you call it Halloween. I believe we should throw a grand masquerade ball."

"You know, Goldilocks, I couldn't agree with you more." Tony replied.

"You couldn't?!" Clint asked out of the corner of his mouth. Thor smiled at Tony, glad to know his friends agreed with him.

"You know, Thor, I think that it is such a great idea and that you should plan everything." Tony continued.

"No, you don't!" Clint all but shouted before lowering his voice to mutter at Tony, "That is a horrible idea."

"I do, I even think that Thor should pick out everyone's costumes, you know, to show that we trust him." Tony said before Clint could stop him.

"Brother Tony, I will not let you down!" Thor declared, as Clint glared suspiciously at the billionaire.

"No problem, Scruffy, just make sure that I get a good costume." Tony replied walking off to his room to burst out laughing at Clint's gaping face.

~Night of the Masquerade~

After Thor announced his idea of a masquerade everyone pestered both Thor and Tony. They pestered Thor to find out what costumes they would have to be wearing, but they didn't protest too much because they didn't want the demi-god to think they didn't trust him. Natasha has already planned certain revenge tricks for Tony because she was certain, without a doubt, that this was somehow his fault.

They pestered Tony to find out if he had any idea what Thor was planning, because let's face it; Tony was always at the bottom of any prank. They all learned to love him for it, and to doubly make sure to always get him back.

Thor left instructions that their costumes would be waiting for them in their rooms when it was time for the party. Each member of the Avengers apprehensively made their way to their rooms, dread building in their stomachs with each step.

When Tony saw his costume he laughed out right, he agreed wholeheartedly with what Thor picked out for him.

Steve grimaced as he held up his outfit with serious misgivings. "This timeline just keeps getting weirder and weirder." He muttered.

Bruce sighed as he stared at his costume. He didn't know whether to laugh or be offended. He decided to laugh and slipped on the suit. "Well, at least it isn't green."

Tasha glared at her suit, fingering her knife as she fought the urge to murder the offensive sight before her eyes.

Clint Barton stared in disbelief. There was no way in fucking hell he was ever going to put that offending piece of garment on. Thor's trust be damned. He kept staring at it and planned multiple accidents for one Tony Stark.

Jane laughed as she saw Thor's signal and moved to the platform to introduce them to the small gathering of the Avengers closet friends; which mainly meant their dates and Coulson, oh and Rhodey and his wife.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, we all know and love our Avengers as the world calls them. It is interesting to see how they perceive themselves. Thor has decided to show us how he perceives his fellow teammates and friends." She paused to fight back a laugh. "I present to you the Avengers!"

She called out, giving in to her laugh as Thor walked proudly into the room. He was followed by a laughing Tony and the rest of the team who were giving murderous glares to the other two men in front of them.

The guests all stared in disbelief as the team lined up and showcased their outfits. "My friends," Thor stated, "I have chosen each of these outfits for you because they resemble you in some form. Each of these past heroes reminds me of you, my friends, in some way."

"Please, Thor, explain your reasoning." Coulson smiled, as the glares were redirected his way.

"Just because he is alive again doesn't excuse him for adding to our misery." Clint muttered to Natasha.

"Plans have been reformed to include him. He will not escape and he _will_ wish he had really died on the carrier." Natasha responded with grim certainty.

Thor beamed at Coulson, "Dear Phil, I will be glad to. I believe that Tony would be the Red Ranger, simply because he is a leader and the fact that suits match. And friend, forgive me, but you resemble some of the dear Jason's rashness as well." Tony laughed in agreement.

"Not a problem, Thor. I agree. I believe it is a fine choice for one such as me." Tony replied.

"Of course he would," Clint growled, "He isn't wearing…this." He waved his hands indicated to his costume.

Thor continued, "I have chosen Steve to be the Green Ranger because he is our leader and a fine one he is."

Steve blushed as he pulled at his uniform. "Uh, thanks buddy."

"You are welcome. I have chosen our dear Doctor Banner to be the Blue Ranger. He is like the hero Billy in every sense of the form."

Tony and Clint snorted as Bruce grimaced. Thor did not realize that the guy who actually played Billy was really friendly with the guys, if you know what I mean.

Thor continued as if nothing happened, "Dr. Banner is intelligent and honest like Billy and is always there for his teammates. As for our own Natasha, the clear choice would be for her to be the Yellow Ranger. Her looks are deceiving. At first, you think she would be someone you would have to protect, and she is, but she is also a woman, a grand warrior like that of Trini."

"Uh, Thanks Thor." Bruce and Natasha said together. Truth be told, everyone could accept their outfits and the people they were dressed up as. They all, except Tony, felt bad for Clint though.

"And for you, my friend Clint, after I have watched the past battles of the warriors, I agree with Tony's sentiment. You are the Pink Ranger."

Clint grimaced as the crowd chuckled at his expense. "I don't say that only because of your choice of weapons. I say this also, because, you are the calm one in battle. You see things and watch our backs."

Clint relented his glare long enough to mutter out, "Thanks." He then went back to glaring at Tony who just smiled at him.

"I have made myself into the Black Ranger. I believe that the young Zach reminds me of myself. He is always eager for battle and to celebrate with his fellow comrades." Everyone smiled because that was Thor in a nutshell.

"Ladies and Gentlemen, I give you the new Power Rangers, The Avenging Rangers." Darcy hooted and hollered, causing everyone to laugh, even Clint. "I have a question though. If you all are the power rangers, who is Zordon and Alpha?" She asked.

There was a pause for a moment before Pepper surprised everyone by bursting out in laughter. "I have it. Jarvis is, of course, Alpha and Coulson is Zordon." Everyone busted out in laughter at Coulson's face of shocked acceptance.

"_Thank You, Miss Potts. I will take that as a compliment."_ Jarvis responded to the party goers.

"You should, Jarvis, at least you aren't the Pink Ranger." Tony laughed out, and ran as Clint chased him, causing Coulson to groan in annoyance and the rest of the gathering to double over in laughter.

* * *

So, what do you think? Any ideas? Wanna feed my muse's ego? Then Review or PM me! Tootles! (That's a weird word..tootles...) ~Winter~


	8. The Mighty Avenging Turtles

A/N: Hey, my peeps! So, after I posted **Thor's Masquerade** me and **Kaishakai **started talking and decided to do a round robin. And this is the result, please and review! Also, check **Kaishakai's** page and read her **Revenge** Avengers Fic if you are not already familiar with. You will love it! Thanks and enjoy!

* * *

The Mighty Avenging Turtles

Tony ducked as Clint chucked a plate of spaghetti at his face. "What the hell, Katniss?"

Clint looked at him with his puppy eyes and innocent expression of 'what did I do'? "It wasn't me."

"Seriously, you're going to lie to my face Braveheart?" Tony gasped and grabbed his arc reactor in mock hurt. "I was looking right at you when you threw it."

"Braveheart? Tony, you're running out of nicknames." Clint laughed and got a mouth full of applesauce.

"What the …applesauce?!" Clint cleared his mouth.

There was a small gasp and Clint turned to see a junior agent staring at him with wide eyes. "Agent Barton- I- I am so sorry, I didn't- I mean…"

Clint gave the kid a grin that was loaded with evil intentions, "Gibb's rule number six, never apologize- It's a sign of weakness."

"Seriously, you're bringing Leroy Jethro Gibbs into this? You do not invoke that man's name in vain, you better back it up or his spirit will forever glare at you and you will become brain damaged by the imagined head slaps." Tony reported solemnly.

"I know, I do not invoke the Great Agent lightly." Clint responded in serious agreement. "I live by his rules."

There was a glint of mischief in Clint's eyes and the younger agent let out a muffled squeak. Everyone gets warned about Agents Barton and Romanoff on their first day so he knew what that look meant. The junior agent turned and ran, diving around Captain Steve Rodgers as he tried to escape.

Steve turned when the younger man bumped into him and glanced to see Clint with an unholy grin on his face as he charged down the aisle. He held his hands out in hopes of stopping him from doing too much damage but a rope of sausage links wrapped around his neck, choking him.

"Not so fast, Cap," Natasha growled, pulling the links tighter.

"Nat?" He winced when the links tightened but sent up silent thanks that it was sausage links and not her thighs. That meant she wasn't too mad. "Look, I'm sorry about the pizza, I didn't mean for it to happen but Bruce surprised me and I didn't mean for it-"

She hissed and let loose, coming around in front of him, holding the links out, and twirling the two ends. There was a large stain covering the front of her catsuit, going down into the crevice where the top gaped. "You will pay."

Clint smirked as he watched the two dance but he frowned when he saw the junior agent was almost out of the door. Natasha and Steve were blocking his path and there was no way he was going to let the little punk escape. Looking around, he saw a tray still sitting on the table ahead of him and he smirked.

Running, he jumped up onto the table, landing on the tray which went skidding down. He whooped as he bent to get more speed, angling it to jump to the next table. "Woo, cowabunga, dude!"

He went flying off the edge of the table and grinned as he plowed into the agent who'd dared to throw applesauce at him.

Tony snorted as the scene unfolded in front of his eyes. When Clint stood up with a victorious foot on the junior agent's stomach in a Captain Morgan's pose he just laughed, "That was radical, Michelangelo."

Clint grinned at the new nickname. "I seriously love that name. He was always my favorite growing up."

"Well, you do embody him with your great gnarly pranking moves." Tony nodded. He turned and watched Steve and Natasha dance around each other more. There was a flying sausage link here and a 'Now, wait, Tasha, it was an accident' plea there.

"In continuing this discussion," Clint said pressing harder into the struggling agent underneath his foot, "Be still, Probie or I will set you on fire, I haven't done it in a few weeks now. Like I was saying, if I am Michelangelo than that makes you Rafael."

Tony mused at this as he side-stepped a flying watermelon. "I can accept that. His superior sarcasm skills do remind me of my own. Steve would be Leonardo, just because he is so uptight and annoying like Leo."

Clint scooped up a handful of mash potatoes and chucked it out towards another agent. Tony turned and fired a spoonful of gravy, protecting his friend's back. "That would make Bruce Donatello." Clint said, leaning down and wiping his hand on the still trapped agent's shirt.

During the course of their discussion, Nat and Steve made their way over to them. They were more focused now on throwing food at the other agents than Nat trying to kill Steve with sausage links. "What the hell is going on?" Steve asked as he ducked a piece of flying bread.

"Leonardo, you should not use such language. It is not befitting of your character." Tony gasped. "Neither of them, really. The great Captain America is supposed to be a prude you know."

Steve stared at him wondering who the hell Leonardo was. Natasha stopped him asking by snorting.

"So, who does that make me? I'm assuming that you're Michelangelo, Tony's Rafael, Steve is Leonardo, and Bruce is Donatello. That makes me who?" She said, daring them to call her the rat.

Tony and Clint stared at one another for a minute before both turning to her and saying at the same time, "Casey."

She looked at them for a moment, considering. She easily ducked a flying orange before nodding. "I can live with that."

There was more flying food and while it started as a free for all, it slowly became S.H.I.E.L.D. agents versus the four Avengers. Natasha wielding her sausage nunchaku while Steve had picked up the very tray that Clint used to surf on and began using it as a make-shift shield. Clint stayed standing on the junior agent as he turned anything and everything, including silverware, into deadly projectiles. Beside him, Tony was laughing manically while he pelted the other agents. He silently wondered where Bruce had suddenly disappeared to.

Against the odds, the Avengers were somehow winning and Clint crowed victoriously as he hit Agent Sitwell when their fun was interrupted.

"What the hell is going on in here?!" A voice thundered.

Everyone turned to the doorway just in time to see Director Fury get hit with a face full of Sloppy Joe mix. He held a bashful looking Bruce by the collar of his shirt while he glared balefully straight ahead of himself. "Who wants to tell me why the fuck I have an organization full of agents acting like a bunch of high school _Breakfast Club_ rejects throwing food around on my multi-billion dollar helicarrier?"

"Oh, I want to be Judd Nelson's character!" Tony exclaimed in fake excitement while everyone else fell deadly silent and the other Avenger's exchanged quick looks. As a unit, they began creeping away from their positions. Clint headed for the nearest air vent and stealthy removed the screws while Natasha hugged the closest wall and began creeping towards the exit, drawing an embarrassed looking Steve behind her.

Tony, meanwhile, stood in the center of the cafeteria, the junior agent cowering at his feet while he held a handful of what looked like a glob of potatoes, corn, and green beans, a look of utter betrayal on his face. "I guess that answers that question," He mumbled before he slapped a hand to his chest, unmindful of the contents as they splattered across the front of his Black Sabbath shirt as he exclaimed mournfully, "Donatello, how could you?"

Bruce shifted and a dull flush crept up his neck as he wrung his hands. "Director Fury had already been alerted of the, uh, disturbance and we just happened to run into each other when I was trying to get back to my quarters," The scientist said apologetically. "When he saw me covered in food though, he insisted I accompany him back here."

"Yes, and it seems that there is not enough work to go around if my agents find the time to engage in a food fight. I find my feelings are hurt that I was not invited," Fury stated flatly. "I guess this means I should assign more tasks."

"First of, Captain Hook…no that name doesn't quite fit. You're Mad-Eye Moody…no that's not it either…" Tony muttered, thinking to himself.

"Mr. Stark…" Director Fury growled.

"_His name should be Shredder._" Whispered a voice from above.

Tony snorted as Fury cleared his throat and spoke into the silence. "Avengers, I believe we need to call a meeting." Natasha was almost out of the door, slipping past Fury and Bruce unnoticed, and Clint was pulling the cover over the vent when Fury called out, "That includes you, Agent Barton. Agent Romanoff, I'm sure the Captain will ensure you'll be there."

Steve and Natasha froze. Steve rubbed the back of his head and nodded while he flushed a bright red. "Of course, Director."

Clint, meanwhile, froze with the vent only an inch from being shut. "Shit, the Shredder has found us out."

"I'm sorry, but the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles do not listen to Shredder," Tony quipped and looked down as he belatedly noticed the mess he'd created. He frowned as he bent to wipe his hand on the junior agent still curled in a fetal position. "Though we aren't teenagers, well, Barton might be, so I guess that'd make us the Adult Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. Then again, none of us are mutants, well, okay, maybe the Other Guy is since he was exposed to gamma radiation and everything so that might make Banner a mutant and the jury is most definitely out on Natasha because those killer thighs really are killer and we all know Steve got his powers from a lab and Clint's eyesight really is beyond human…hmm, so I guess the mutant can stay but we are most certainly not turtles and the only ninjas are Barton and Nat. Maybe the Adult Mutant Superhero Humans? Nah, the Adult Mutant Superhero Squad…no, still doesn't feel right…." He turned to Fury with a serious expression. "What do you think?"

"I think," Fury began, his voice tight with veiled anger. "That you and your teammates should adjourn to the meeting room."

"Ah, but once more, we do not answer to Shredder," Tony shrugged. "People tend to get a bit touchy when their heroes listen to the bad guy, isn't good for their image for one thing, plus if the Good Guys listened to the Bad Guys, wouldn't that make them Bad Guys, too?"

"Stark, enough," Fury growled.

"Avengers, my office."

Tony turned to see Coulson standing in the doorway behind Fury who practically had a strangle hold on Bruce now. He opened his mouth to give a snappy comeback but Clint hissed at him from inside the air vent.

"Dude, listen to Splinter-san, it is not a good idea to question him," The archer warned. "He will taser you and leave you to drool on the carpet while he watches Super Nanny."

"Hmm," Tony nodded his head decisively. "Yea, I do not want to experience that again. Let's move team, we don't want to piss off Splinter-san, do we?"

Coulson's lips didn't so much as twitch. "Go now, Rafael," He ordered before turning to Fury and suggesting calmly. "If you would release Donatello, Director Shredder?"

"You called him Shredder, Splinter-san. How long were you standing there and how the hell did you hear us?" Tony asked walking beside Coulson to his office.

"If I'm Splinter-san, than it wouldn't be wise of me to tell you all of my trade secrets, now would it? You must learn for yourself, my son." Coulson replied stepping aside as the team filed in and joined Clint who dropped out of the vent and onto the bookcase under it. If this was a meeting with both Coulson and Fury, he wanted an easy exit strategy.

By the time Director Fury entered, he was fuming. "I want to know who started the fun and decided that I was not invited. It seriously hurts my feelings! It hurts my feelings so much, that I do believe that the next time the _Fantastic Four_ wants to take a holiday for another wedding, we will let you pick up the slack. Maybe I will even suggest to Dr. Reid that they should take the weekends off, and the Avengers will pick up the slack."

"Answer." Coulson commanded when no one had spoken.

"Now, Shredder," Tony sighed, "If you want to switch to the winning side, things can be negotiated."

"Stark…" Coulson murmured with a warning.

"In all seriousness, I have no idea who started it. All I know is that Clint…" Tony went to explain only to be interrupted by Clint's clearing of throat, "…I'm sorry, Michelangelo threw a plate of spaghetti at my head and I ducked."

"I did not throw a plate of spaghetti at your head Rafael; I was throwing it at Sitwell." Clint explained.

"And what, pray tell, did Agent Sitwell do to you?" Fury dared to ask.

"He stared at me for longer than the allowed three seconds." Clint smirked.

Coulson sighed as he rubbed his head hoping to make the headache go away.

"He even acts like Splinter-san." Tony leaned over to whisper to Clint.

"Agent Romanoff, would you care to explain you and your deadly sausage links?" Fury chose to wisely ignore Barton and Stark at the moment.

"Steve hit me with pizza." She uttered with a renewed death glare thrown Steve's way. "He managed to drop an entire pizza on me and I do not appreciate having pizza sauce and cheese shoved down my bra. Do you have any idea how hard it is to get tomato sauce out of satin and lace?"

"Wait, you actually have a bra on under that?" Tony glanced at her with an appraising look. "And here I thought you went commando. And satin and lace, really?"

Everyone chose to ignore him as they focused on Steve who immediately shot back with, "That wasn't my fault! Bruce ran into me and knocked the plate out of my hand."

Everyone turned to the mild-mannered doctor, "Why is everyone looking at me? Donatello never does anything." Bruce said with wide-eyed innocence.

Tony fought back a laugh, "So, clearly, it was no one's fault."

"Oh, so, the food just started flying by itself?" Fury exclaimed.

"Well, since we are now the Mighty Mutant Superhero Squad, that is entirely possible." Tony said throwing out another name.

"You know, Tony, I think the Avengers have a better ring to it." Bruce sprouted off.

"Well, old is new than. Avengers we stay. Oh, the Mighty Avengers." Tony clapped his hands and stood up. "So, we done? I have a hot date with a certain long-legged red-haired beauty."

"Sit down, Stark!" Coulson and Fury demanded at the same time. With a sigh, Tony dropped back into his seat.

"Who started the fight?" Fury asked again.

"Fine, I'll find out." Tony huffed and pulled out his phone. He quickly typed in commands and hacked into S.H.E.I.L.D. network. He commanded Jarvis to find the feed of the cafeteria and rewind to the beginning of the food fight. What he found made his eyes widen in disbelief. He passed the video feed to Clint.

"Oh, Splinter-san, you are an evil, sneaky, gnarly mutant-rat spirit indeed."

Fury turned and looked at Coulson. "What the hell is he talking about? What did you do, Agent Coulson?"

Everyone gathered around Clint to see the cafeteria footage and gaped when they saw Coulson, Philip James Delaware Coulson, eye the Avengers who were eating at their own table, well away from any other agents. Steve and Bruce were making their way to where the others sat, Steve holding a pan of pizza while Bruce trailed behind him, keeping a wary eye on the other agents who were eying him just as warily.

They watched as Coulson looked down at his tray which held a bowl of sliced watermelon, a sandwich, and a plate of salad. And then they all gaped when Coulson calmly stood, hefted his bowl of watermelon, and chucked it straight at Bruce. Bruce looked over just in time to see the bowl coming for him and he stumbled to the side to avoid it, only to bump Steve, causing the Captain to drop the pan directly onto Natasha.

They all watched with horrified awe as Coulson then turned and tossed his salad at a woman who they recognized as a senior agent who sat with a bunch of junior agents. The salad splattered over her and onto the man sitting across from her, who immediately stood and looked around. He happened to catch the eye of one of the computer analysts and mistakenly assumed he was the culprit. From there, the match was on.

At a table across from the Avengers, Sitwell was staring at Coulson who just happened to be situated directly behind Clint. Not realizing this though, Clint took it that Sitwell was staring at him and so chucked his plate at him, seeing as to how the food fight was now in full swing.

"Dude," Clint stared up at Coulson, wondered awe on his face before he split out with a giant grin. "I knew you were behind some of those pranks! You're the one who really set Gamble on fire, aren't you? You really are Splinter-san."

"Who is Splinter-san?" Steve finally said, not looking at Coulson. He knew better than to question a superior officer and he was sure that there was a good reason for him starting the food fight. So, for now, he wanted to know what everyone was going on about. "Who is Leonardo and Rafael and all these other people?"

"Seriously?" Clint turned to Steve. "The Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles?"

Steve frowned, "Tony mentioned those earlier, too. What are they?"

"Man, you really need to be brought up to date," Clint grinned, "I had no idea you were this far behind."

"Time to educate him now," Tony snatched his tablet back. "JARVIS, this is an emergency. Que up the first season of TMNT, stat."

"We are not quite through here yet, gentlemen," Fury interrupted, reminding them that he was still in the office with them.

"But Agent's the one who started it," Tony defended. "You really can't punish us for something he started- we were just following his lead, after all."

"Be that as it may," Fury continued and the Avengers all looked warily from one to the other when they saw the spark of amusement in his eye. "There will be disciplinary actions taken. And I think I have the perfect thing in mind."

~Next Day~

"I cannot believe this," Natasha grumbled as she leaned against the wall. She pulled out a knife and began scraping under her nails.

"Whatever you're planning, count me in," Clint muttered from beside her.

"I don't care how messy, I'm with you," Bruce added as he crossed his arms. "Actually, the messier the better."

"I don't know, this is actually pretty cool," Tony grinned. "Radical, even."

Steve actually rolled his eyes as he shifted uncomfortably, "This is far from cool and nowhere near radical."

"You are dressed as overgrown turtles," Natasha glared at him. "And I am dressed as freaking Jason Voorhees."

"Kinda fitting actually," Tony snickered before he frowned. "Wait, I thought Fury banned you from carrying anything other than the hockey stick?"

"'Never go anywhere without a knife'," Clint reminded him gravely. "Beside, you want to be the one to strip her of her knives?"

"Good point," Tony nodded and looked around at them.

As part of their 'disciplinary actions' Fury thought it was fitting for them to dress up in the 'roles they found fit to play and act out in his multi-billion dollar ship that is not a toy'.

As such, Clint, Steve, Tony, and Bruce were all painted green and stuffed into turtle costumes with props fitting their characters. But the absolute best came when Coulson came walking down the hall.

He wore a brown monk's robe and he was painted brown with hair attached all over and pointy brown ears poking out from his wig. He even had a rat's snout attached to his face. And…was that a tail hanging from his robe? It most definitely was, Tony mused, it was a pink rubber rat's tail.

"Oh, this just went from radical to being totally tubular," He chuckled.

Clint turned to see what he was talking about and while he didn't grin, there was a definite glint in his eyes. "Ah, Master Splinter, it's good of you to join us."

Coulson shot him a blank look as he adjusted his robe matter of factly, looking for all the world like he was dressed like a normal human. "Of course, Michelangelo." He turned to the rest of the group, "Is everyone ready for a 'shell' of a time?" He asked with a straight face and turned to lead them out to the gymnasium full of elementary school kids.

Steve's face went pale under the green paint when the doors opened and he saw the number of kids present. "Okay, I'm in on whatever you have planned."

"Yes," Natasha nodded sagely. "And Coulson is most assuredly going to suffer right alongside Fury."

"Oh yea," Bruce nodded as they made their way into the room. "If only Director Fury was here and dressed as Shredder." He murmured to the rest of the group.

"Then we'd have good reason to be attacking him," Steve replied. "The kids would actually be expecting it."

"Yes, they won't even realize the blood is real," Natasha nodded. "We'll just say that he's staying in character until all of the kids are gone."

Tony grinned from ahead of them.

"I want my bow," Clint whimpered.

"Come on, my Mighty Avenging Turtles, let's show these kids just how radically awesome we are," Tony grinned.

The group fell in line behind him and Natasha glared from behind her hockey mask. "I'm thinking of adding Tony to join them."

"Agreed," The other three men chorused as Tony began introducing them.

* * *

So, what do you think? Please Review! And remember that if you want a particular idea done, just let me know through review or pm! ~Winter~

We had so much writing this...


	9. Kindred Spirits

A/N: So, I'm sorry that I haven't updated for a bit. An orginial villan kind of had me kidnapped until I finished his chapter...stupid head...I really don't like him. Anywho, I figured that Tony and Thor needed a special moment, this isn't one of my favorites, but I do like it. Let me know what you guys think!

* * *

Kindred Spirits

"This is a toast to new friendships formed, bonds that will never be broken because they were formed when they were needed the most." Captain America, Steve Rogers, toasted to his fellow Avengers.

"Here. Here." Thor and Bruce chimed in.

Clint and Natasha raised their eyebrows and lifted their glasses.

Tony rolled his eyes. "Well said, Capsicle."

Pepper elbowed him in the side and gave him a silencing look. He smiled and waved it way, "I'm only joking Pep. He's known me for a year now, he's used to it."

"The Tin Can thinks he's funny, Miss Potts. Don't want to destroy the boy's American Dream." Steve smirked with a playful wink to Pepper. The Avengers laughed at Tony's mocked pain.

"No thanks whatsoever!" He mourned soulfully to Banner.

Bruce rolled his eyes at his friend's playful manner.

Thor watched his comrades and friends with a small smile on his face.

"To always remembering a great day that brought us together." Clint smirked lifting his glass high.

"You would think it was a great day," Natasha muttered lifting her glass with him.

"To new friends." Steve toasted.

"To new friends." Bruce echoed.

"New comrades." Thor agreed. He smiled down at Jane and held her close.

"To wasted enemies." Tony said, downing his drink. Pepper sighed with loving annoyance. _I don't know if I am ever going to get him house trained_, she thought lovingly.

Jane saw Thor's smile falter and his bright eyes dim. "If you would excuse me but for a moment." He said quietly stepping away from the party.

Jane bit her lip as she watched him walk out towards the balcony. She looked to see if anyone else noticed the change in her gentle giant man. Bruce was laughing with Steve about something, while Clint engaged Darcy with a joke. Natasha and Maria were talking quietly to themselves, most likely about guns. She expected Tony and Pepper to be encased in their lover's glow, talking quietly amongst themselves.

Only, she saw Pepper watched with worried eyes that followed Tony out to the balcony, towards her gentle giant man. Jane made to follow, to make sure the billionaire didn't say anything he shouldn't. She was stopped by a feminine hand on her shoulder.

Jane looked back at Pepper questions in her eyes.

"Don't worry; Tony will know what to say." Pepper said quietly.

Jane stared into the eyes of the woman who managed to capture Tony Stark's battery operated heart. Pepper's sad eyes told her that Tony might know a thing or two about human emotions, for all that he tells the world that he really is part cyborg.

The two women turned and waited patiently for their loved ones.

**~Tony and Thor~**

Thor breathed in a deep breath of the cool air of the New York night life. He stared down from the balcony, seeing all the lights and cars. He watched as the mortals went about their lives. He wondered how many of them grieved for lost ones, or how many were celebrating as another normal day came to end for them.

He tried to steer clear of the thoughts that held memories of his brother. Of what his brother did to the place he loved. He ran a hand down his face, a gesture he saw Steve make many times, he did find it slightly comforting. It was like he was slowly wiping away the frustration.

He did not hear the Man of Iron come out. When Tony wanted to, he could be quiet stealthy.

"It's not wrong to think about Loki and miss him." Tony quietly said, not looking at Thor. He stared out into the direction of Stark Industries, letting his memories bring up Obi.

Thor looked at him in surprise. "I do not understand."

Tony laugh, "You're not that good of liar, buddy."

Thor said nothing instead turning to look out to the New York night life.

"You remember that battle we had with the freaky octopus machine?" Thor nodded in agreement that he did. He remembered that the enemy was someone that Tony knew before the Avengers.

Tony was quiet as he thought about how to tell the story. "What Loki did to you, how he betrayed you, is different than me." Tony leaned on the railing of the balcony. "When my father died, his partner and friend stepped in. Obadiah Stane was his name. I was young and filled with grief, not that I would ever tell anyone. I had just graduated from M.I.T. when I started to look into the death of my family. There were some things that didn't add up.

I told Obi about it, and he, I will never forget this. He told me that I was searching for something that was never there. I was looking for something my father would never be able to give me." Tony was quiet as he worked through the spark of anger the memory caused.

"Tony…" Thor started.

"No, just…let me finish. Pepper would be proud I actually got through the story with someone who wasn't there." Tony sighed. "Anyways, fast forward a couple of years and I get kidnapped and held hostage in Afghanistan. It was there that I built the first Iron Man suit. When I got back, I learned that the person that I grew up with as my mentor betrayed me. He had me kidnapped, tortured, and then he tried to kill me."

Thor stepped up to his friend leaned next to him. "I am deeply sorry that this happened to you."

Tony smiled. "I know I just wanted to let you know that you weren't alone. What Loki did to you, I understand. There is no shame in missing your brother. The good memories that you have deserve to be looked at every now and then."

"Do you miss the man who betrayed you?" Thor asked looking intently at his friend.

Tony put down the scotch he brought out with him. He thought about seriously for a moment and turned his brown eyes to meet Thor's blue. "I miss him every day." He grabbed the scotch and downed it in one swallow. He clasped Thor on the shoulder and went back inside.

He smiled at Pepper when he saw her waiting for him. He opened his arms and she walked into them and held him as if she would never let him go. He met her eyes and smiled and nodded once to let her know he was ok.

"Hey! Robocop! Where you been?" Clint asked coming into the living room. Jane excused herself out to the balcony to where Thor was.

"I've been outside being awesome. Where you been?" Tony snapped back.

"Where's Thor?" Clint asked.

"He's outside reeling from my awesomeness." Tony grinned. He grunted when Pepper elbowed him in the side. "Well, he is."

"Everything good?" Natasha asked

"Why wouldn't it be?" Tony asked with feigned hurt.

"Because you were outside with him." Natasha shot back.

"That wounds me. Seriously wounded here." Tony whined holding his chest.

Thor and Jane walked in, Thor smiling down at here to let her know he truly was well. They both looked up at the same time and found everyone staring at them. "What is wrong?" Thor asked, unconsciously flexing for Mjolnir

"Why would something be wrong, Scruffy?" Tony asked.

"Because everyone is staring at us." Jane laughed.

"Oh, we were just basking in the glory of your beautiful self." Tony laughed.

"Tony, brother, I admire you as a friend and comrade, but Jane is off limits." Thor said, with a small playful smirk on his lips.

"Thor, buddy, I think that he was talking to you." Clint smiled.

"It is true, you are a beauty." Tony said sauntering up to him.

Thor grinned, "It's true that you Midgardian have not been blessed with true beauty like that of me, but, how do you say here on Midgard, I do not swing that way."

Everyone laughed at Thor and Tony's insulted face. "I will get you back for that."

"That's what Loki always said." Thor smiled, a little sadness seeping into his eyes. Everyone stared at Thor, unsure how to proceed.

"Oh yea, How many times did Loki beat you?" Tony asked with no pause.

Thor laughed, "Many times actually. There was one time…" For the rest of the night Thor told stories and memories of the brother he remembered and love. Thor smiled at Tony in thanks; Tony just lifted his new glass of scotch and laughed in all the right places.

Thor grasped Jane's hand and acknowledged that it was ok to remember his brother with affection.

* * *

What you think? Let me know! Winter :)


	10. The Unexpected Revelations

A/N: Miss me?! I'm so sorry I haven't updated in quite a while, but one of my original stories had me trapped in getting their background updated. Anywho, this is based off the prompts of **Kaishak****ai **and **Gemini-SerenityHope! **If this one offends anyone, I'm sorry, though I don't see how it would. Anywho, enjoy!

* * *

The Unexpected Revelations

My creator is a very smart man. Sometimes his genius knows no bounds. There are sometimes, though, that he plays at not being as intelligent as he really his. Like right now for instance. He is playing yet another joke on Mr. Barton. I warned him of the probabilities of Mr. Barton's revenge leaning more towards deadly lethal. His reply instead was that Mr. Barton's face would be to priceless to pass up. It has been a week since Thor's Halloween Masquerade. It was the same party that Mr. Barton shot, stabbed, or punched someone if they dared to bring up in his presence. One agent found that out the hard way.

Poor agent Sitwell, he always manages to get on Mr. Barton's bad side. The agent in question had made the mistake of laughing and showing off a picture in the newspaper when he suddenly felt a searing hot pain in his left shoulder. The poor bloke looked down and found an arrow sticking out of his body. Agent Sitwell looked up and found Mr. Barton staring at him from thirty feet away his bow already loaded with another arrow. Agent Romanoff was standing between them quietly saying 'Fury does not need to lose any more agents…and besides that means more work for us.' Agent Sitwell was laid up for a month. Needless to say that Agent Sitwell avoided the Avengers like man would avoid man-eating piranhas.

Mr. Stark has no qualm about messing with Mr. Barton though. He enjoys very much indeed. Has been torturing Mr. Barton non-stop for the past week and each torment somehow seems to best the last. Though that is not surprising see how Mr. Stark is the one doing the tormenting. This torment seems to take the cake though if I may say.

Mr. Stark had me set to record as soon as Mr. Barton walked through the doors of the Avengers Tower. He pretended to be absorbed in his work on the laptop in the common room. He even went as far as pretending to make notations on a piece of blank paper. I believe if Mr. Stark ever wanted to give up inventing he would make a great actor, but alas let us not contemplate that nightmare, I would probably cease to exist. As soon as Mr. Barton walked off the elevator his cellular device rung Mr. Stark leaned forward to hide his grin behind the laptop and waited for the fireworks to begin.

Maybe it is best to go back and explain. You see Mr. Stark created me more or less as an cyber extension of himself. In the cybotic world that would make me a genius as is Mr. Stark. I can think for myself and I can also remember things even if I didn't want to. It was during Thor's Masquerade when the Avengers got the call. There was no time for them to change into more combat ready uniforms. The only two spared for the following embarrassment was of course Mr. Stark and Dr. Banner.

Dr. Banner transformed immediately to the creature known as the Hulk and shredded his costume. Mr. Stark pressed a button and I immediately traveled through the wires and circuits to activate his newest suite which encased Mr. Stark.

The other Avengers ran outside and it was a good thing that Thor was as through as he is. As it turned out the _Fantastic Four_ had called in for insistence in dealing with their Arch Nemesis Victor Doom. He had the heroes surrounded by doom boots. Mr. Barton's suit came with a bow and arrow as well as Miss Romanoff's came with a blade set. Unfortunately, Mr. Rogers' did not come with a shield but he fixed that by using a dead bot. And that's when it happened. The media frenzy came and immortalized this moment in history much to Mr. Barton's despair.

Ah, there is Mr. Barton now and there is the timely ringing cell phone. I do hope Mr. Stark does survive this, he did promise me an update tomorrow.

"Barton."

"Mr. Barton! I'm soooo glad I caught you! My name is Talyor Hansen and I'm happen to be one of your biggest fans!"

"Oh, well…um, thanks. How did you get this number?" Barton demanded.

"From you application silly! I can't really say that I was surprised, but I was a bit shocked. I mean I have wondered for years, and I'm sure you have heard the rumors. Oh, it was just splendid the way you decided to do it. I applaud your zeal and bravery."

"Mr. Hansen, I'm sure I would understand better if you would explain."

"Oh, of course! I'm the March leader for the LGBT parades. We have received your application to lead our next march! We are so honored and you have no idea how many people you have given courage to accept their true selves.

I have Mr. Barton's face immortalized now forever in my databases. It was, as the humans say, priceless.

"Uh…Mr. Hansen…I'm not…I don't…it's just that…" Barton struggled to say.

"I must be losing signal. Make sure you are there at 4pm Mr. Barton. You are giving so many men and women hope and courage. You are a true hero." Mr. Hansen said before hanging up.

Before Barton could protest and deny the line went dead. "I don't understand." He whimpered before sitting down. And that is when Mr. Stark made the mistake. He let out a small chuckle gaining Mr. Barton's attention.

"STARK!" He shouted taking off towards the man. Tony jumped up and ran to his lab. He just barely made it in there. He had me lockdown all the devices and entrances to the lab. Including the air vent. "TONY! I'M GOING TO KILL YOU! YOU ARE SO DEAD! I'M GOING TO EXPOLDE YOUR BODY WITH A MILLION FREAKING ARROWS!" Barton pounded on the Plexiglass doors.

Tony's voice floated through the intercom. "While, Hawk, I have no idea what you are shouting about."

"I bet you don't. Don't worry. You can't stay locked up in there forever. You will die by hand sooner rather later."

"Promises, Promises. Don't be late tomorrow. You have half of America counting on you!" Mr. Stark smiled.

-The Next Day-

4pm

Mr. Barton is a lot of things, but one thing he hates to be is a disappointer to the public. If he makes a promise or pretend promise in this case, he keeps it. He is loyal to a fault. So he showed up in the damn outfit that started it all. The Pink Power Ranger Outfit…the fucking suit from hell.

He smiled and planned as he marched for many revenge possibilities against the man of iron. What really sealed the deal was the life size poster that Mr. Stark had me printed up and shipped to the LGBT organization. It was the picture of Mr. Barton in the pink outfit, bow and arrow cocked with one leg lifted on top of a doom bot's dead body. His hip was jutted out to the side and he was posed like that of a Captain Morgan bottle.

_"On the evening news with Don Kroger…_

…_the big story today was the Avenger _

_Hawkeye standing tall in the March for Gay Pride._

_His astonishing announcement last week when he fault the _

_Doom bots gave courage to millions of people everywhere_

_To not be afraid to be who you really are."_

Now, you all may wonder why I did not give Mr. Barton a warning. I know how Mr. Stark can be, but like I stated before he is my creator…and well, perhaps we share the same sense of humor.

* * *

TBC...so? what you think? Again, I'm sorry if this offended you, but I don't see how, but you never know with people these days! As always: Love it, hate it, but review it! Winter


	11. Breaking America

**Breaking America**

Bruce Banner has never felt more horrid than he did right now. Okay, granted the time putting Betty in the hospital and that one fight with Darcy topped this moment, but barely. It also wasn't helping that Tony and Clint were still laughing over the incident. It was technically their fault, so why couldn't they feel the guilt why he laughs at their pain? But no, he was Bruce Banner; nothing ever really goes his way. This was number three on the list of the top five 'stupid things not to repeat' list. _Really_, Bruce thought to himself staring at his friend, _how many times can you break one of America's beloved Icons without it being called Treason?_

"Bruce, its fine. It was an accident." Tony tried to cheer his friend up. He wasn't really helping because he kept looking at Clint and then the two would start laughing again.

"It was an accident that you two caused!" Bruce huffed.

"Well, now we know not to piss the Hulk off." Clint supplied.

"Yea, I doubt that would ever stop you from pissing the Hulk off in the future." Bruce grumbled.

"Brucie, I'm hurt. And besides, it is not our fault that Hulk likes me and Clint better than Captain Prudence." Tony stated logically.

Bruce sighed and looked at Steve laying the hospital bed, finally sleeping as his bones healed. It was a training exercise mixed with an impromptu experiment by Tony and Clint. Just then, Maria Hill and the rest of the Avenger family ushered into the Private Room of Captain America Steven Rogers.

Maria head directly headed for Steve's bedside and grabbed his hand. She looked up and glared at the three men who stood on the other side of the bed. "What happened?"

"We found out the Hulk doesn't like the Capsicle." Tony answered sitting down in the chair, propping his feet up on the bed. Pepper hit him in the head and motioned him to remove his feet from the bed; he sighed but complied none the less.

Maria glared at Tony, "Explain." Her free hand went to hover by her weapon. Tony held up his hands.

"Calm down Agent Hill. It was a training mission, that's all." Clint said stepping in. Maria glared at him.

"I don't believe you. You've been hanging out with Stark too much. Doctor Banner, please, what happened?"

"It really was a training mission. We were experimenting with the Hulk. We were trying to get the Hulk to be able to…uh…transform back quicker. Also, trying to find things that set him off that we could prevent around the Tower." Bruce started. "Tony and Clint were trying to piss me off, and I admit they were doing a great job of it." He continued.

"Thanks, Doc." Clint said the same time Tony replied, "Well, we do try our best."

Natasha and Pepper both slapped their men upside the heads and gestured for Bruce to continue. "It is just that Clint and Tony did their jobs too well. Tony started yelling at me and then Clint and Tony started to poke me with pointy things."

Tony and Clint chuckled while Bruce rolled his eyes. "Yes, I know how that sounds Tony, no need to elaborate." Bruce said before Tony could make a joke. "Anyways, in continuing Tony continued while Barton set off a small explosion near me, which caused the Hulk to coming roaring in. Cap's job was to try to calm me back down and see if the Hulk would retreat when asked by a teammate. Thor's job was to help contain Hulk if he got to out of control. We didn't count on two things though."

"What two things Bruce?" Pepper asked.

"One, we didn't count on how much Hulk really doesn't like Thor and Captain America. And two, we didn't count on how much he really likes Clint and Tony." Bruce said, looking at Maria apologetically.

She sighed and sat down, still holding Steve's hand. "What happened?"

"Well, he appeared and roared like a banshee at me and Clint and then huffed. Cap came in and tried to talk to him only to have the Hulk grab him and beat him on the ground like a Captain America rag doll. He called Steve…what was it?" Tony looked at Clint.

Clint grinned at the memory, "I do believe it was something along the lines of 'Puny Capsicle'."

Tony grinned out right then, "Ah, that's right. I mean, I don't know who was more shocked, us or Cap as he laid there stunned and inside a concrete bed."

"Or Thor…" Clint started.

"Speaking of which, where is the God of Thunder and Lighting?" Darcy asked, rubbing Bruce's shoulder. Before anyone could reply, a nurse wheeled in the next patient. Thor was awake and waved groggily at his comrades.

"Oh!" Jane exclaimed. "What happened?!" She squealed rushing to his side.

"We were getting to that." Bruce said, a small smile playing on his lips. One look at Maria's glare quickly wiped it off. "Um, well, after um…you…know…"

Clint took over for Bruce. "Thor came in and tried to get the Hulk's attention. He flew at him which caused Hulk to swat at him, sending him into a nearby wall." He turned to Tony, "What was it that he called Thor? I was too busy making sure Cap was alright."

"Oh you didn't hear?! When he hit Thor he said 'Bad Fly. Smash You.'" Tony supplied. The team looked at Thor was simply glared at them as Jane flustered around him examining his bruises.

"So, you see, it was an accident!" Clint exclaimed at Maria and Jane. "We just can't help it that the Hulk has excellent judge of character." Everyone rolled their eyes and settled into a comfortable quiet scene.

Maria looked up to find Tony staring at her and Steve. "What is it Stark?"

Tony raised an eyebrow but didn't respond. He had the face he wore when he was working on something new; whether it is for the better of science and technology or a new prank on a teammate. His friends and girlfriend have learned to fear that face.

"Stark…" Natasha warned.

"I was thinking," he said ignoring her still staring intently at Maria, "you must be really into older men. I mean think about it, Cap was born in 1922. Hill was born in 1982. He is like Sixty years her senior. She likes that old papi love. OW! What was that for?!" Tony demanded turning to look at Pepper.

"You, Mr. Stark are in serious trouble when we get home!"

"Miss Potts, I'm just stating the obvious." Tony grumbled rubbing his head.

"It's alright Pepper," Steve spoke up startling everyone, "Tony is only mad that Maria likes me more than him."

"So, the Hulk likes me more," Tony grinned, glad to see his friend and teammate awake.

"I believe that Banner's other ego likes you more Tony because you amuse him so." Thor spoke up from the other side of the room.

"Well, what can I say? I'm a funny guy." Tony grinned.

"That or the Hulk has absolutely no taste in friends." Natasha grinned evilly at Tony.

"Hey! I think that Tony and I are great friends to have." Clint cried indignantly.

"That's because Hulk doesn't know any better." Steve said from the bed.

"Well, you're just jealous because the Hulk broke you." Tony laughed. "The Hulk broke America. It had nothing to do with the debt deficit."

* * *

TBC...So, what you think? I was re-watching the avengers with my bestie and we started talking about how Bruce broke America and this idea expanded from that. So, in that case some of the credit goes to **Kaitera :)** As always, love it, hate it, but review it! ~Winter~


End file.
